You’ve heard the phrase or something similar: “I only have to answer to God.” It’s usually uttered by someone who’s made a morally questionable decision. In some cases they made a good decision that others view as bad, and in some cases they’ve done something morally egregious but don’t want to admit that they were wrong. Often it’s a rhetorical statement made dishonestly in an effort to avoid a difficult or unwinnable argument. But it carries some weight with a lot of people, whether they’re saying it themselves and honestly believing it to be true, or they’re hearing it from another person.

There are significant differences between answering to God and answering to people. For one, you have to live in the world with people. Acknowledging wrongdoing to people is difficult. You have to look them in the eye sometimes, and you have to face them after the apology, knowing that they can never really forget your error even if they offer forgiveness. Also, you take a chance with your credibility if you have to admit wrongdoing too many times. Sometimes doubling down is tempting if you fear that you’re on thin ice already. Despite what we like to say, people can’t really love you unconditionally. Lastly, answering to people doesn’t only mean apologizing, sometimes it means defending your actions. And people may not always agree with your position.

Compare that with answering to God. You don’t roll over in bed and see God’s face, or go to work and have to stop by the water cooler and chat with God. You don’t have to remember your guilt every subsequent time you talk to God, and you definitely don’t have to look him in the eye. When God forgives you, everything is washed away and God loves you just the same. And lastly, God, whether many would phrase it this way, always sees things your way. God may know that you messed up to the degree that you’ve admitted it to yourself, but he also knows your rationalizations and your excuses, and takes them into account. God’s response is typically something along the lines of “That was wrong. Try to do better… I understand.” And when you don’t admit any wrongdoing, God’s response is, “Nobody else understands, but I do, and I understand you.” God always understands.

Why does God always understand? Is it because God is truly omniscient and loving and understanding? Or is it because God is the voice in your head rationalizing your actions. God is your own sense of shame and guilt, and God is a product of your own consciousness.

Could it be that God is just you?